I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
