My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
she smelled like a LAN party
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
