Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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