Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Randomize
