gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
