I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
