My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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