I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
