break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
