sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
