He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
