You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
