So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
