if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
nutella sex= disaster
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
