I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
