This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
