Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
