We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
