Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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