We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
