Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
