dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I wish i was in the wii world.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He shit in the fireplace
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
