I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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