I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
