And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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