We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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