That's intense
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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