dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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