went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
