She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize