first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
