the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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