I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Found your dick twin last night
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
