Non-Jews are for practice
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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