I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
