508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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