so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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