i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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