its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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