it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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