she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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