yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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