Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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