He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
