i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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