No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
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