I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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