I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize