you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
