Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
