ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
you had me at cake vodka
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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