Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
