So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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