I looked at my own cervix.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize