put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
