I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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