Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
