I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Do vagina's smell?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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