? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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