yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
