I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
