I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize