It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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